My Enemy The Weather

Well, it's that time again. Being on a fixed income and benefitting from the kindness of my family, it is important in these dire times that I not use electricity. Similar to my refusal to use Air Conditioning to cool my home in the summer due to its use of electricity, lest it cut into my quadrennial Las Vegas vacations, I find it ill-advised to use heat (other than a space heater) for my home heating needs.

My family makes light of my yelling when they linger in the doorway, or open a door, or when they look at my thermostat, but frankly the use of electricity to heat or cool a house is an unnecessary expense.

The AARP Serves My Interests

I don't understand the controversy over "privatizing" Social Security. My passionate defenders in the AARP tell me that it's bad and I will eat dog food and other old people if Social Security is privatized. It turns out that Social Security will be fine until decades after I shuffle off this mortal coil (fingers crossed!). Even though the geniuses of the Roosevelt Administration mis-accounted for the possiblity that fertility and mortality rates could change sometime after the very moment the program was brought into existence (there was talk of starting again at year 0000 and declaring a new age of humanity, but money was tight in the 30's and the calendars were already printed), for some reason these young people think there are "flaws" or "shortcomings" in a plan that gives me money for free.

As you can imagine, I intend to fight alongside the AARP until my next medication time. These young people these days have no appreciation for the older generations that intend to bleed them dry for no better reason than we threw a token amount of money at the government and lived past 65. Sure, they may do crazy things like plan for retirement, or save up money, or their companies may have a pension plan, but what if something bad happens with their plans?

For example, what if there comes a time when there are more people pulling out of these pension plans than are putting in? And what if people start living longer after retirement? Has anyone considered that? Sure, I guess people can try planning around that, too, or change how pension plans work in anticipation of this. Maybe they could put some of that money to work such that a reasonable risk is taken and a series of modest returns expand the amount of money available?

Whatever. I bow to AARP's superior education tactics.

Proof of the dangers of new technology

"A horse pulling a carriage downtown Friday evening was apparently spooked and flipped the carriage with a family of five inside."

You know, ever since they stopped using dredges and sleds in favor of "wheels", I've been warning people that something like this could happen. Being incredibly old, I can not see a single reason why we would combine the speed of a horse with the instability and raw rolling power of wheels on an axle. It is simply beyond me.

Also, I suspect these people were traveling at greater than 4 miles (per the new measuring system) per hour, which is unsafe regardless.

Well, that was odd

I completely forgot what I was writing about. I seem to have nodded off for several hours. While I was asleep, I dreamed that a cockroach crawled up the wall, all the way across the ceiling, and then fell on my dessicated chest.

Wintering!

Well, it was a good Thanksgiving, in case you're wondering. I am unable to eat most traditional Thanksgiving food, but my carefully metered portion of spinach was as delicious as I can hope for in my remaining days. I am aware that spinach is not a traditional Thanksgiving food, but it's as close as I'll ever see.

I spent the past week driving the 150 miles down to the Texas coast. I counted 47 stops for medications, food, going to the bathroom, going to the bathroom a few minutes later, and no fewer than 3 overnight stays in RV parks. I'm sure it seems odd that a person that is unable to compare the number of items in my grocery cart to the number of items necessary to qualify for the express lane at the grocery store is able to so precisely recount a comparatively large number like 47. I assure you it's not odd at all. You see, what you've got to understand is

Dear Abby is Right!

One of the reasons I keep stacks upon stacks of old newspapers in my house is so that I could, if so inclined, read past Dear Abby columns and bask in the wisdom that only comes with decades of advice-giving experience. I find her advice timely and relevant.

I also find that the stacks of newspapers help deaden noise from the street. Noise from the street hasn't been an issue for nearly 30 years, since my hearing left me, but in case I get visitors, I'm sure they would find it pleasant to enjoy my company without the noise from the street. I could just move some newspapers and we could sit and enjoy the late afternoon right before I went to bed.

Perils of My Diet

I went to Whataburger today during the post-church rush. Well, I actually showed up just before the post-church lunch rush and finished my order about halfway through the post-church rush. I felt it was important to verify that certain vegetables were or were not present on a hamburger as ordered without additional instructions. Since cheese, mayonaise, shrimp, chocolate, cyanide, iodine, lots of salt, any sugar, almonds, and various peppers will kill me, it was important that none of these be on my hamburger. It turns out that the french fried potatoes are not cut naturally from the potato (the young lady at the counter pointed me towards Jack in the Box, but I couldn't see it because I am not very tall and can only see 4 feet in front of me anyhow). They do not have RC Cola or Hill Country Fare Cola, only Pepsi-Cola, and will not sell it in a size smaller than "Small", which is really just more than I can drink, and is too heavy regardless.

I took my order back twice because I detected faint hints of lettuce. No more than a single stray flake, but I specified NO lettuce, not VIRTUALLY NO lettuce.

That was a good burger.

Newfangled!

My grandson gave me this computer-machine several years ago. I will admit that I was really quite frightened with the whole affair. On the one hand, it was a lot like a television and a typewriter all in one. On the other hand, sometimes it would ask me thing and I would nearly fill my Depends in the panic that ensued. Since everyone knows that if you click wrong just once on these devices, the device will cease function completely, I spent lots of time on the phone with my grandson.

I look at the world wide web a lot, as this activity defines the upper limit of my technical ability. It is a good way to read about ailments I have and the prescription drugs that remedy these ailments. I have heard it is possible to "buy" prescription drugs over the Internet, but I don't trust buying things on the Internet. If they came to my door or called me on the telephone, I would have no compunctions about giving them money or answering any questions they have. However, I have heard that people steal from you when you buy things over the web. Entering contests or helping out the Social Security Administration over the web is safe, however.

So welcome to my web log! I will update when I am not hospitalized.